Sometimes I look for the girl
who loved you three years ago
and ask her why.
Why did she let you break her like that?
And with your arms around me,
I was the sea on a sunny day.
Untroubled and serene.
Being with you made heartaches seem unfamiliar.
The loneliness came.
And somehow it felt like home.
I stood between mountains confused of where I belong.
You came in from behind me and suddenly I’m home.
We walked among the lights
and the moon illuminated the place.
It was 9 pm,
and all I could think of was
I have to leave you in eight days.
I can’t swim but I love the sea
a painful combination
For all I know, I’ve left pieces of myself with the ocean
parts of myself I’m far too terrified to take back.
Parts of myself I believe no longer belongs with me
And although I’m petrified of not being able to touch the ocean floor,
I’d jump in any moment
to feel complete again
even for a little while.
I’ve loved you in 20 other lifetimes before this.
I will look for you heartbreak after heartbreak.
And 13 lifetimes from now, when my soul is crushed and I’m crying on the floor holding my chest, I would know.
That it was you I loved again.